2007/05/29

Purpose


昨天從Philly回來後覺得沮喪跟失落

覺得迷失了自我

不想工作    也沒有工作的熱誠

只想遠離辦公室不斷的旅行

晚上又夢到以前上班時一些不好的回憶

早上醒來時

問自己

為什麼有些人可以對自己的工作充滿熱誠

談到工作就口沫橫飛


仔細想想

自己好像忘記當初來這個城市的目的

也忘了當初進這個公司的目的

也許自己的目的跟公司內部的目標不太一樣

但就如Reshma說的: you'll get something.

也如IMC新生訓練時某教授說的: you'll get more than you could imagine.

Therefore, I have to keep my purposes in mind.

What's my purpose of giving up being with those beloveds and living alone in the foreign country.

What's my purpose of working in this company after the painful struggle.

What do I expect to get and learn and how do I see myself in the future.

I've had those answers already. Just have to keep them in mind that I won't get lost again.


Avenue Q裡面的Princeton也在尋找他自己的purpose.

願大家都可以找到自己的purposes & passion of life.


Purpose

Princeton:
Purpose.
It's that little flame that lights a fire under your ass.
Ha!
Purpose.
It keeps you going strong like a car with a full tank of gas.

Everyone else has a purpose,
So what's mine?

Oh look.
Here's a penny.
It's from the year I was born.
It's a sign!
Ha! Ba ba ba ba doo doo doo doo doo.

I don't know how I know, but I'm gonna find my purpose.
I don't know where I'm gonna look, but I'm gonna find my purpose.

Gotta find out.
Don't wanna wait.
Got to make sure that my life will be great.
Gotta find my purpose.
Before it's too late.

Ensemble:
He's gonna find his purpose.
Princeton:
Whoa ooh oh.
Princeton and Ensemble:
I'm [He's] gonna find my [his] purpose.
Ensemble:
He's gonna find his purpose.

Princeton:
Yeaaah yeah yea.

Princeton and Ensemble:
I'm [He's] gonna find my [his] purpose.

Princeton:
Could be far.
Could be near.
Could take a week
A month
A year
At a job.
Or smoking grass.
Ha!
Maybe at a pottery class.
Could it be?
Yes it could.
Something's coming.
Something good.

I'm gonna find my purpose.
Yeah.

Ensemble:
You're gonna find your purpose.
Princeton:
Whoa ooh oh.
I'm gonna find it!

What will it be? Where will it be?
My purpose in life is a mystery.
Gotta find my purpose.
Gotta find me.

Ensemble:
You're gonna find your purpose.
Princeton:
Whoa ooh oh.
I'm gonna find my purpose.
Ensemble:
Your're gonna find your purpose.
Princeton:
Pur- pur- purpose
Yeah yeah.
I gotta find me!


2007/02/07

一個人的旅行


短短的三天之內,決定搬離這生活了16個月的Evanston

花了一個週末把房子租了出去,訂了去LA的機票

然後花了一個禮拜打包了我在美國的所有財產,共計12箱

臨走前還留下人生第一次喝醉發酒瘋還不忘搞笑之人生真命苦代表作


LA之行,延續春假時去Florida寄宿Marcy家,感覺又是一個人的旅行

還好到了第3天搬去台灣人莎拉家,感覺又是有了個伴

離開了LA踏上回台灣放假的旅程

難得的隔壁空座位,跟沒有個人電視

想起最近一次的Las Vegas之旅,又更之前的Asia trip

好不容易是有朋友一起飛行的

難道從此以後又要開始一個人的旅行了嗎?


台灣的無線網路沒有國外發達

搜尋無線網路時,預設的"IMC"蹦出來

"連線失敗"視窗顯示著


"再也用不到了嗎?"心裡這樣想著

但卻不想刪掉

就像某些記憶一樣


前幾天豆漿在網路上跟我說

某天4缺1的一家三口外出

回家時Willie一開門就大叫"Frida我們回來囉!"


我也好想念每次都煮東西給我吃的Sabirna麻麻

早上會煮咖啡跟被我使喚的Willie拔拔

喜歡照顧人還常陪我ㄧ起耍智障的豆漿妹妹(比較像姊姊其實)

不知道我們一家四口什麼時候還可以再團聚呢?


2006/11/30

Close to THE END


負三度的空氣中彌漫著一股捨不得的味道


從來沒想過會是什麼樣的結局


腦袋裡上演的還是暑假的實習跟Asia Trip的情節


忽然之間宣告15個月即將close to The End


我卻還沒準備好要道別


Move on to the next step whether you are prepared or not.


Yes, it is life. That's why we call it commencement.


2006/03/27

每次晾衣服的時候

每次晾衣服的時候
不想把衣服烘乾
所以把溼衣服從地下室的laundry抬上來後
ㄧ件件掛在浴室裡
就讓我想起在紐約的生活
從Brooklyn的St. George Hotel到Lincoln center附近的YMCA
沒有鍋碗瓢盆
語言學校樓下的三塊錢Gyro再加送一個甜甜圈便是我的中餐和晚餐
沒有洗衣籃和大瓶洗衣精
所以每次淋浴洗澡順便洗衣服
同時刷牙洗臉一次解決
很克難
但很懷念

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